A Recent Study Shows That Smokers Have Smaller Penises

KENT RIDGE, SINGAPORE -- A recent NUS study shows that smokers seem to have smaller penises, due to the smoking.  

The finding also show that there is no doubt that news of reduced size and endurance, if properly advertised, will end smoking once and for all in the male population ... of this man hath no greater fear. 

Thus the Health Ministry is taking note of this penis study. To save the government a whole bunch of money, CNC has asked the B Burn Advertising and S & S Advertising -- currently out stocking up on nicotine gum and Viagra -- to create some new lines for those government warnings on cigarette packs. 

Here are what came up. 

* These cigarettes are king size -- and you're not.

* Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller. 

* If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you. 

* Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon. 

* Smoke rises -- you may not. 

* Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children -- if you were capable of conceiving any. 

* Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff -- so do you. 

* How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards if there's no before? 

* The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub. 

* Don't throw lit cigarettes in the urinal -- you might not have the range to put them out.

"Don't throw lit cigarettes in the urinal -- you might not have the range to put them out."